Hocking hills... Just one picture will update later

From My inbox today....

From: "Hank Paulson"
Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF $700 BILLION US DOLLARS. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV
SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON

Got an Idea to change the world?

Google for its 10th anniversary is hosting a challenge for ideas. This website is where you can submit you entry. If they choose you they could give you 10 million to make your idea into a reality.


Good luck!

The Pillsbury Doughboy is no longer with us

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly he was 71 years young.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack,
the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain
Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked
schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old
man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children; John Dough,
Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also
survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for 20 minutes.

Another Sign I am getting old

I ran across this article today and found this little tidbit:

"USU sophomore running back Curtis Marsh is the son of former Ute Curtis Marsh (same name). The elder Marsh, whose NFL career included stints with Jacksonville, Pittsburgh and Cleveland, was a senior in 1994 when Kyle Whittingham joined the Utah coaching staff."

I still remember being 18 and down in Arizona with Dirk Handlebar at my brother's house. I remember watching the Air Force v Utah game in which my brother says "I'll bet they throw to Curtis Marsh and the ball bounces off his helmet" As soon as he said that the next play was 40 yard pass to marsh (he was wide open) that bounced off his helmet.

My thoughts from the Big House...

The Good -
1. A win is the most important statistic in Football.
2. How about some props for he Oline... We double the yardage Mich had and all the sacks and intentional groundings were a result of the receivers not getting open (Or BJ not finding them). Brian Johnson had at least 4 seconds on every pass play.
3. Louie Sakoda is so valuable to this team. He's my MVP. That being said I wish he would get the ball out quicker on punts.
4. Props to the defense!!!!! We had almost as many penalty yards as their offense had yards. Michigan never had a sustained drive. There were many 3 and outs.
5. Sean Smith is a shut down corner.
6. Paul Kruger might be the best d lineman in the country
7. No wasted timeouts and good clock management

The Bad
1. Too many turnovers
2. Too many penalties
3. BJ is too tentative on his runs/scrambles. several times the pocket opened up and if would just run forward he had 7 yards. He only did it once and he got 7 yards.
4. the second half was played not to lose instead of to win.

The Ugly
1. Rich Rod's coaching - My brother Matt doesn't agree (because he doesn't know football)

Ask yourself these questions

A. Does a good coach lose at HOME when they are ranked #2 in the nation to a 3-7 team
B. Does a good coach who has a good offensive line that can run the ball only run the football when they are down?
C. Does a good coach adapt to the players he has or make excuses that "he doesn't have his guys"?
D. Does a good coach run no huddle with a new offense (not a too mention a freshman Q when it makes his Defense spend a lot time on the field?

I'm glad I still have 10 years before my daughter is a teenager

Right now she is 3 1/5 and I was getting her dressed the other day and when I gave her some clothes to wear she said:

"These don't match and they need to be ironed"

She's freaking 3 years old!

Then this morning When my wife was getting ready for church and she said.

"I want to wear my pink dress with the white skipping shoes with flowers. I also want that pink bow in my hair"

Damn Cheaters in Baseball

According this report the Yankees and Red Sox are being investigated for Skimming off the tops of bonuses to Dominican Republic signees. This pisses me off for a couple of reasons:

A. These dominicans are as poor as it gets and now we have people stealing from them? For many of these Dominican athletes the only way to make it is to be signed by a major league team.

B. The Yankees Carl Pavano 17 million to NOT pitch but they can't afford to pay their scouting personell enough to not have them steal from poor third world teenagers?

What is this world coming too?

If this doesn't bring a smile to your face well... You didnt grow up in the 80s

Instant Messaging a new way to be embarrassed

So I am in Little Rock Arkansas and I see my wife on Line:

UTAHMANINMICHIGAN says:
you still up?
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN's Wife says:
Just checking my e-mail before I go to bed.
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN says:
ok
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN's Wife says:
How is Little Rock?
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN says:
btw... I am really horny for you
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN says:
its good ... I miss you guys though
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN's Wife says:
Whoops. This is UTAHMANINMICHIGAN's mother in law. Apparently UTAHMANINMICHIGAN's Wife used my computer last and didn't sign out.
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN says:
boy I am embarres
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN says:
embarrassed
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN's Mother in law says:
You're great, UTAHMANINMICHIGAN, and UTAHMANINMICHIGAN's wife is lucky to have you.
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN says:
open mouth insert foot
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN says:
lets just forget this little conversation
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN says:
btw.. Little rock is ok
UTAHMANINMICHIGAN's Mother in law says:
It is UTAHMANINMICHIGAN's wife fault for not signing off on my computer.

Razorbacks... they love their football in the south

So I am in Little Rock AR on business and I am told that they have a stadium here where they have 2 U of ARk games each year. Yes... two...

So I decide to go check it out. Its seats 53k. They love their SEC football so much they built a stadium for two games a year.

I am told that they play one SEC game and one of their other home games here.

unbelievable...

_______________

Unusual Trades in Sports

From Jim Caple's Article "Outside the Box" on ESPN.com. My comments are in italics

FROM LEFT FIELD

In case you missed it, the minor league Calgary Vipers traded pitcher John Odom to the Laredo Broncos for 10 maple bats with a value of $650 (Odom was unable to get into Canada due to a minor but unspecified infraction). Odom appears to have a good attitude about the trade, telling ESPN's First Take, "Hopefully I can turn it into a good thing. I mean I might be able to turn it into a feel-good story. ... It's just one of those funny stories that will go down in history and that I'll be able to tell my kids about." That's the attitude. Odom isn't the only player ever acquired for an unusual price -- including some people who wound up in the Hall of Fame. Some of the more interesting ones:

Ernie Harwell: The Brooklyn Dodgers acquired the broadcaster from the Atlanta Crackers in exchange for catcher Cliff Dapper. (first of all... The Atlanta Crackers?? Second, Ernie should have said when he was leaving "I'm loooong gooooone")

Lefty Grove: Traded by a minor league team for the repair costs of its outfield fence that was knocked down in a storm.

Dave Winfield: The Twins traded him to Cleveland during 1994 strike for a dinner between the GMs if the season did not resume. (Hopefully it was a steak dinner and the Twins GM got desert. Dave Winfield is in the hall of fame

Randy Winn: Tampa Bay traded him to the Mariners for right to sign Lou Piniella as manager.

Harry Chiti: The Mets traded the catcher to Cleveland in 1962 for a player to be named later. The player wound up being Chiti, who went back to the Mets. (He was traded for himself. That is awesome)

Tim Fortugno: Minor league Reno traded him to Stockton for 12 dozen baseballs and $2,500 in 1989.

Johnny Johns: Traded for a 25-pound live turkey. (it was right before thanksgiving!)

Joe Martina: Texas Leaguer traded for two barrels of oysters. (whoever got the oysters was just trying to get lucky if you know what I mean)

Al Michaels: To sign the announcer, NBC traded ABC/Disney the copyright to Disney's old cartoon character, Oswald the Rabbit. (i have never heard of Oswald before but apparently he is huge in Japan. I think it was Disney's comparison to Bugs Bunny)

The Telectroscope

I received an email from the Mrs. regarding this telectroscope. Apparently the artist claims there is a tunnel from brooklyn to New York that was started by his great grandfathe. Its pretty cool

For all you grafitti artists out there

This is how its done

The Great American Ballpark

This past week I had the opportunity to go down to Cincinatti and see a game in the Great American Ballpark. I went with my friend Dave and stupidly we both forgot our cameras so these pictures are from the internet. Cincinatti is a pretty cool place. The cubs won the first game 3-0 and then the second game the Jon Lieber gave up 4 home runs in the second inning. All in all it was a good time and fun

Dr. Seuss Enterprises...

From Jayson Stark on espn.com

This week's coveted Greed is Bad award goes out to the rats in the hats at Dr. Seuss Enterprises.

Their crime? Forcing the well-meaning Lake Elsinore Storm, of the California League, to pull the plug on last week's brilliant Dr. Seuss Night promotion.

Why'd that happen? No, not because the Storm couldn't locate enough green eggs. Because the team couldn't locate enough green cash to convince the grinches at Dr. Seuss Enterprises to drop their threatened legal action.

Only one positive development came out of that cancellation -- one of the great press releases in modern baseball history, as penned by Matt Dompe, the Storm's director of game operations, and assistant GM Alan Benevides. Here goes:

The Padres affiliate, the Lake Elsinore Storm
Tried to put on a promotion that wasn't the Norm
We called it Dr. Seuss Night on our website
But something about that didn't seem right

Dr. Seuss Enterprises didn't see it as funny
They said we could do it but we didn't have the money
They didn't appreciate our publicity ploys
So we have to inform all the sad girls and boys Through the face of it all we thought we'd persist
Until we were served with a cease and desist
The theme has been cancelled but the game will go on
Perhaps it wouldn't matter if we were in Taiwan

Podcasts

If you want to listen to a hilarious podcast listen to the podcast from Adam Corolla down towards the bottom entitled "Pedif Isle"....

A goofy little secret of mine

One thing most people don't know about me is that I love learning about new technologies. Now mind you I can't build anything for the life of me but I love learning about them. I get popular mechanics ever month and read it cover to cover. Below are some links of things on the horizon that I am looking forward to:

the air car

Solar Energy

Flying Cars

Maglev Trains

Vertical Farms

Daddy's litte cub fan

Here's Jack... Having a Bud ... Watching the game

An Epiphany

So I was reading on some message boards and came across this thread which really made me think about the age old question:

"If God cares so much about us as humans why does he let kids starve in Africa?"

Its a valid question that a lot of posters on that site above weighed in their thoughts. One poster who happens to be my good friend said this:

"There's just no way to know it's god. I think humankind's assumptions that god is just, merciful, cares at all, etc. is more a deep-seated hope than anything.

We pretend that we know what kind of being god is (all-wise, all-knowing, just, merciful, etc.), then rationalize instances where god breaks out of character (He lets kids starve in Africa because of XYZ). In my opinion, we don't know anything about god. But to each his/her own."

He makes a good point that in reality is true. We don't know anything about God's character. The Old Testament God was vengeful and angry. He even made bets with the devil about someone's soul

I was thinking about this last night when I had my epiphany. This is why we need to have faith in Jesus Christ. Faith that what he was saying was what God truly is. We generally look at the sermon on the mount as good teaching for our lives but another way is to see how he was dispelling the notion of the angry, vengeful God presented in the Old Testament (His audience for his Sermon).

Some of his sayings:

"God is Love"

"Ask and ye shall receive"

"what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

One of the reasons the first principle of the gospel is faith in Jesus Christ is that we have to believe that God is what Jesus said he was. We have to have faith that God cares about his children and while suffering exists it only is there for a time then it ends. I remember a conversation where people were talking about how horrible it would be to die being tortured or burning. But in reality it doesn't matter either way you are dead. This is analogous to human suffering. While someone suffer for 20 years may seem like a long time. When compared with how old the universe is and will be its just a spec.

Ok ... enough preaching for one night

Some Answers about the Utah Man

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD-
1. Health care finance - My wife once asked me to explain what I did at work every day. I broke out the spreadsheets and she was asleep in 5 minutes. Can't say I really blame her.

2. Valet - I drove a 120k car once that was cool

3. Dishwasher at a chinese restaraunt

4. working at a movie theatre - Free movies!

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED-
1. Salt Lake City
2. Goiana, Brazil
3. Oviedo, Spain
4. Ann Arbor, MI

FOUR PEOPLE WHO EMAIL ME REGULARLY-
1. Fred Warner
2. My boss
3. utahutes.com
4. Ngiya Desponiva ... the depsoed prince of Nigeria - "Look Toby when a disposed prince needs your help you help... He's a prince after all" - Michael Scott

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS-
1. Steak
2. Red Velvet Cake
3. tootsie rolls
4. Lettuce wraps

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW-
1. At Wrigley watching the Cubs
2. In Rice Eccles Stadium watching the Utes
3. In the Hunstman center watching the Utes
4. Out on the Golf Course

FOUR THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO-
1. Going to Cincinatti to watch the cubs play in May
2. the summer
3. having a son old enough to play baseball
4. golfing

Come see Utah County's new basketball team! the Utah County Mormons!

BYU's Historic Basketball tradition

Hanging from the rafters of BYU's Marriott Center are several banners
that illustrate the proud history of BYU's men's basketball team, Sweet
16 in 1951, 1957, 1965, 1971 and Elite 8 in 1950, 1951 and 1981. Let's
look at this rich history in a little more detail.

The first is the Elite 8 banner of 1950. Interesting to note thatin
1950 there were only 8 teams that played in the tournament, so by virtue
of showing up BYU earned this banner. BYU lost in the first roundto
the Baylor Bears by a score of 56-55.

In 1951 BYU claims a Sweet 16 and an Elite 8 appearance. Considering
only 16 teams were in the tournament in 1951 that Sweet 16 banner is
another banner without a win. However to reach the Elite 8 BYU did
defeat San Jose State 68-61, but lost in the Elite 8 to KSU 64-54.

In 1957 BYU trumpets a Sweet 16 banner. In 1957 there were only 23
teams in the tournament and BYU had a bye in the first round leading to
their 'Sweet 16' game, where they were trounced by the Cal Bears 86-59.
Another banner without a single victory. You can see the tradition
really taking shape now can't you?

The next 'accomplishment' for BYU was a Sweet 16 appearance in 1965. You
guessed it, it was just an appearance. There were 23 teams in the
tournament that year. The Cougars got a bye and then were crushed by
UCLA 100-76. Another loss, that's alright, throw up a Sweet 16banner!

BYU touts a Sweet 16 for 1971. In that year there were 25 teams in the
tournament. BYU actually had to play a first round game that year, in
which they defeated the Utah State Aggies, 91-82, before being stomped
by UCLA 91-73. Another year, another banner.

There you have it, 6 NCAA banner listings for 2 NCAA Tournament wins.
And 12 Banner listings from 1950-1971 counting the 'NCAA appearances'
banner. During that period their tournament record was 2 wins 6 losses.

Let's fast forward to 2008, the Cougars make another NCAA tournament
appearance and another first round exit. To keep the traditionalive,
attached below is another banner for the Cougar faithful to hang, we
wouldn't want you to not be able to boast at least a Sweet 16 banner
this year without even winning a game! We've got a solution foryou.

Some interesting facts:
· BYU holds the record for most NCAA tournament appearanceswithout
appearing in the Final 4.
· Since BYU won it's last NCAA tournament game (1992-1993) theUtes
have won 16 NCAA tournament games

Next Weekend's Project

I've decided that I want a serious vegetable garden this year. Using this plan I will be making raised beds similar to this photo. I will post the finished project in a couple of weeks. The goal is to have the garden planted and ready to go by the end of April

Utah v Air Force 1996 (I was in Brazil and wish I could have been there for that).. Utes were down 21-7 with a minute left in the game

Utah Football TV Schedule Complaint

Scott Pierce from the Deseret Morning News make a couple of good points about the tv schedule for Utah and our little brothers down south. I agree with him on most points and would like to highlight this issue:

"When you look at the schedule week-by-week, you can almost always understand the reasoning behind the games CBS C and Versus have on their schedules. But not every week.

For example, on Oct. 11, CBS CS chose TCU-Colorado State over Utah-Wyoming and New Mexico-BYU. Given that TCU is on the network three times and BYU and Utah — arguably the league's two flagship programs (and certain to be among the preseason favorites) — are both on only once, that's hard to defend."

Seriously what the hell is CBS CS thinking? TCU v CSU (CSU will be the worst team in the leagure again) or the mayhem that will be Utah versus the pokes. If you remember from last November when Utah beat the cowboys 50-0 we got this beautiful picture from Wyoming Head Coach Joe Glenn:


Isn't it clear that the Utah v Wyoming game is going to be crazy game next year? If I was a studio exec of a struggling station I would make sure this game is being shown... Just goes to show how stupid cstv...err... CBS CS is

Sports and Convential Wisdom

http://www.utefans.net/message.php?id=591200

The thread above got me thinking about how teams would be better if they bucked convential wisdom...

The most obvious to me is going for it on 4th down when in opposing territory where its a little to long for a FG. IMO anything 4th and 5 and below in this situation is an automatic go for the first.

This is the 50 - 37 yard line. on your own 40 - 50 I think it makes sense most of the time to go for it 4 and 3 and below... TMQ on espn.com always writes about this...

Another one is late in the game (last 2 minutes or so) and you are pinned in your own endzone and you are up by more than two. Instead of punting where they are sure to get the ball on your side of the 50 why not take a safety and get a free kick from the 20?

How I would fix the health care system in this country

With the election coming up and the candidates having various plans of what to do with health care. I present my plan. Its simple, efficient and makes sense... It would also never be done because its simple, efficient and makes sense

Alright here is my plan:

1. Medicaid is completely abolished on the federal level. States decide benefit for poor concerning deductible.

2. Medicare becomes a high deductible insurance
Provisos to number 2.
A. Every person from 1-18 is completely covered
B. Single people from 19-65 have $5000 deductible
C. Married people from 19-65 have $5k deductible per person or $8k per couple
D. Single People over 65 have a $3k deductible
E. Married people 65+ have 3k deductible or 4k per couple
F. 100% of Preventative measures are covered
G. Any person over 65 who has a terminal disease must do hospice care

3. 10% Sales tax on all fast food restaraunts

4. Cigarette and alcohol tax

5. Smoking cessation , Gym membership, or other weight loss programs all contribute up to $1500 of Deductible. Dental care can contribute up to $4,000 of deductible.

6. Not for profit Health insurers (Blue Cross, Health sytems owned) use 50% of their cash reserves to help Poor pay deductibles.

Utah Man's playlist